Best Movies of 2009 (My Best)

1. Adventureland
2. An Education
3. Away We Go
4. Funny People
5. Brüno
6. District 9
7. (500) Days of Summer
8. Art and Copy
9. The Class
10. Fantastic Mr. Fox

Honourable mention and Can. con: One Week (crappy movie, great landscape porn: "You live in one of the most beautiful countries in the world." "I know. Too bad we're fucking it up.")


The Batman

The Dark Knight is set to be one of the biggest grossing movies of all time. Gross! Saw it last night, for free (due to lax payment issues). I suppose I could have driven to Moncton to add two movies to my choices, but adding an hour and a half round trip for a maybe movie and a yuck movie didn't seem worth it. So my choices were The Batman, The Mummy and The Stepbrothers. I guess gals don't go to movies in Amherst, but then what would that be? Mamma Mia and Traveling Pants? Mamma's Saggy Undies. No thanks.

What a piece of shit. Of all the pieces of shit released this summer, this has to be one of the worst. I bet geriatric Indy was better. At least it became a comic strip and wasn't based on one. People do what they're told. Everyone has seen this movie, you should too! Is it any good? Does it matter? Nah. What matters is being part of the crowd, no matter how miserable it makes you! Follow follow follow. Bah bah bah.

You know why the plot made no sense? 'Cause it didn't have to. They market these movies to international audiences, so it doesn't matter if they're fucking mumbling their lines and the edits cut so quickly you're like, 'what the fuck just happened and who that hell's that?' All they have to do is have a bunch of loud explosions and things with wheels that go fast and sad music at sad parts and happy music at happy parts and guns shoved in people's mouths and punching and cutting and angry, crazy threats and you've got a fucking movie, man, that'll screen in Nowheresville, Idaho and Nowheres District, China. Boom! Smash! Mumble! Burn! Boob! Growl! Boom! The end. That's Batman. What a piece of mindless shit.

There were a few cool shots and some nice set design. But that's it. I miss good movies in theatres. I really, really do.

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